I recently read (as in two days ago) Impossible by Nancy Werlin. I loved it. It's so fun for me to read YA fiction sometimes ... I love faerie tales and myths and folklore. This story took the song "Scarborough Fair" and gave its history as a family curse with three impossible tasks to complete to be free. You know what bothers me, though? I don't like how they glorify the hero figures in books and movies. I know I'm not going to explain myself well on this idea, because it's 3am among a plethora of other reasons, but I want to try. Men are wonderful. They make our lives complete and fill our hearts with joy and desire and hope. They have varied but often predictable strengths ... like fixing things, logical thinking, determination, thick skin, etc etc. What I don't really appreciate about current publications is that these big strong men are portrayed to be so sensitive, perceptive, observant, intuitive, nurturing, and soft. Please don't misunderstand, I don't think those are bad characteristics. And I love Eldon's sensitive gentleness. But I didn't marry him because he's sensitive and gentle - though it was a perk. I just don't think it's his greatest strength. And while the heros in books fill the pages with knowing looks, furrowed-brow compassion, and superhuman almost-mind-reading capacities to know their significant others' emotional needs, is that why we need men? I say no. We have girlfriends for that. What we need from men is for them to be MEN.
I want to read about how he's getting good grades so he can further his education or get a good job. I want to read about how he works so hard he was promoted. I want to read about how he loves kids, his own or not, and teaches them to fish or helps them with their homework. I want to read about how he sacrifices his own comfort or preference for the good of his family. I want to read about his ability to be the rock, the anchor of his home. He can be sensitive and soft-spoken and endlessly patient too ... those are good things. But his first responsibility is to be all the things his companion isn't, to do the things she doesn't do.
In short, or maybe not so short, I wish we'd glorify men for the things that make them men. Our roles are so beautifully different. I worry sometimes that with all the talk about masculizing women we overlook how much we're feminizing men. Please don't misunderstand me and think I'm saying men shouldn't be sensitive etc. Of course they should. I pray to a very, very sensitive Father. But the best thing about being married to a man is that he's tough and capable and determined to fight to provide for his family. The best thing is that he brings a different perspective to problem solving. The best thing is that he's not a woman! Sometimes in books and movies the best thing seems to be how womanly he can be ... and I don't care for that.
Maybe I'm too tired for this to make sense to anyone but me. I may read this after a few hours' rest and be confused myself. :) Thanks for keeping me company while I try to keep my eyes open.
You, my girl, are a magnificent person. I totally understand every word you said, and marvelled at how well you said it. You hit the nail on the head once again, and even at 3am you put it beautifully. Well done!!! And, by the way, I am grateful every day of my life for the HERO that is my husband!!!
ReplyDeleteAmen. If women would open their eyes more and truly look around at media and culture they would realize just how much the adversary is trying to destroy marriage at every possible turn. If it's not every other commercial on t.v. making the man looking like a complete moron, it's movies and books undermining their true nature and helping women find dissatisfaction with what their man truly is and was always meant to be!
ReplyDeleteThe differences between man and woman are eternal, divine, and absolutely necessary for that deep and lasting joy we all want. We have to celebrate, strengthen, and support those differences instead of resenting our men because they're not our best girlfriends or because they can't read our minds. I tell you what, when the toilet overflows or the car breaks down or the budget needs a real hard look, I want a real man on my side, not a Hollywood woman in man's clothing.
Ooh, yeah, Jaclyn ... my mom and I HATE when the husband is portrayed as a moron. Talk about degradation!! And I second the toilet / car / budget thing too. :) Yay for our real men!!
ReplyDeleteAnd yay for the ones who don't really know how to fix everything, but are willing to push the broken down car out of the way, take a sack lunch to work every single day (and then bring the sack home and reuse it 50 more times) and have the same dollar in his pocket at the end of the month that he had at the beginning. Yay for the man who eats whatever you cook with a grateful heart, even when he'll have to eat all the leftovers, too, because no one else wants them. Yay for the man who realizes that being a father is far more important than being a friend, and much, much more difficult. Yay for the man who gets up and goes off to work without a word of complaint day after day after day so that his family has all that they need. Yay for a man who you can ALWAYS count on to be the HERO, no matter what it demands of him, and no matter how inconvenient or difficult or even impossible it may seem. Yay for the man who makes you laugh hysterically while you are waiting to go into surgery, or childbirth, or when you are scared. Yay for the man who celebrates and honors motherhood and expresses his appreciation and admiration to you constantly for mothering his children. Yay for the man who introduces you to his co-workers and they tell you that he is constantly talking about how wonderful you are. Yay for a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, and does his best to live like Him...I know that man, and I love him with every fiber of my being. Yay for YOU, my Sweetest!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
ReplyDeleteYes, yay for my dad. When a little girl has a great dad it makes her more confident she'll be able to find a great husband. Dad's the reason I waited for Eldon to come into my life ... I knew men like that existed somewhere. :)
ReplyDeleteOh bravo! I SO agree!
ReplyDeleteOh, I concur. I love the way you put it too! Thanks for making me smile today. :) Oh, p.s. you mentioned moving to California . . . where are you guys moving to? Good luck with the adjustment!
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