The Baby's Doing Fine!

I had two doctor appointments this morning. The first, at 7:30am, was with the eye doctor (after two attempts to spell his real title I give up ... Op-something) and it was fine except that they dilated my pupils and I could hardly see for hours. I was driving on the freeway with my highly attractive here-put-these-behind-your-glasses-to-help-with-the-sunlight monstrosities. My word, they were ugly. And I was ugly in them. Plus I was wearing sweats (a recent purchase because I haven't even OWNED a pair of sweats since junior high ... but I think all pregnant women need them and mine were pennies at Walmart :)) and I hadn't really done my hair because Eldon was still sleeping when I was getting ready and the last thing he needed after I tossed and turned all night was the sound of his wife's blow dryer roaring in the distance.

(Note: Actually, our apartment is so small NO part of it is in the "distance". I can, and I rather appreciate, vacuum the entire thing using a single electrical outlet. :) No unplugging and replugging. I like that...for now.)

Let's actually do a little image painting for you, Reader.

• I'm sitting at work and since the phones aren't ringing I have a few minutes of peace. I usually blog at work since we don't have internet at the apartment yet.
  
• I have a phone headset on over my lovely 3-second "updo" (which I'm owning AND working, thank you).
• I have on a plain white shirt, which is not the most flattering for an ever-expanding belly.
• I have on black sweats that I cut off with fabric scissors this morning because they covered my feet - what with their being designed for women of "average" height and all.
• I have chipped finger AND toenail polish.
• I have on very dirty BROWN sandals. Yes, thank you, they don't match my black and white ensemble above my ankles. I know you were thinking it.
• I'm tired, and it looks like it. I probably got 4 hours of sleep last night and I was in bed TRYING for over 8.
• I mentioned my glasses already, but let me mention them again. I HATE them. Eldon says they make me look like a librarian. He means it as a compliment. No one but him, being the voracious reader he is, finds the librarian look attractive. It must be the connotations and memories it evokes. His most recent mid-semester read: Atlas Shrugged. Honestly.
• I have a tuft of a widow' peak growing in (have I mentioned that I'm growing out the whole thing again? It's rather lovely, in a tilt-your-head kind of way. No it isn't. I made that up.

Are you seeing me? Okay, good. Moving on.

My second doctor's appointment was with the baby doctor (another title-spelling dodge) whom I proceeded to fire immediately following the appointment. I felt bad about it, which surprised me. He is a nice man. It's his secretaries/nurses I didn't care for. Oh well. We listened to the baby's heart beat for seriously 3 seconds, just long enough to tell it was there, and I was pulling my shirt down and thanking him for his time. For the love. My new doctor, actually a midwife at Timp Hospital (who is still a doctor and will give me an epidural in the hospital ... don't worry ... no home deliveries in bathtub water for me, thank you) told me our checkups would be about half an hour long so to plan for that. She wants to make sure all my questions are answered during every stage and that she gives me information I wouldn't have thought to ask about. Basically I imagine her sitting on her chair, sipping hot chocolate with me and chatting for an hour every month about everything I'm feeling, what my baby is doing, what she thinks the baby will look like, etc. :) Not really, but I am ecstatic about this. Yay!!! She came HIGHLY recommended and I can't wait to see her. Next Tuesday!!! Wo-bam!

Anyway, the baby is doing great, according to the thorough 3-second checkup the doctor found it in his heart to bestow upon my child. The measurements are great, the heartbeat is great - really strong - and I should feel kicking in the next couple weeks. That I can wait on, to be honest. I know I'll cry and it will be so sweet, but I have trouble sleeping as it is ... I can only imagine how being kicked awake will be. :) I'm all talk, my word. I'll be calling for the world's attention when I feel our baby kick! I'm ridiculous ... I talk rationally, but I act emotionally. :) Just as my husband.

Also, I've lost weight since my last visit a month ago, which I was thrilled about. And everyone who knows me well and has seen me in the last few months has probably been silently wondering about my poundage. Thank you for not mentioning it. :) It's hard enough to feel like I'm getting chubby without commentary. The doctor asked me about the weigh loss and I told him I've been feeling well enough to exercising more and that made him stop worrying. It's those BIKE ride, I'm telling you. My body doesn't recover for HOURS after those. :) I bet that 7-minute ride of doom burns hundreds of calories. :) Plus, Eldon and I have been walking more than usual too, so I'm sure that helps. We walk to church on Sundays, and it's probably almost a mile each way. When we're speed-walking it takes 12 minutes to get to church, but on the way back we usually stroll and it takes like 20. :) Anyway, I'm feeling good, looking better (don't laugh...today is an exception! I don't usually look like a hobo.), and ANXIOUSLY waiting to find out if I'm carrying a son or a daughter.

I've been telling Eldon that I want a boy, mostly because I want to name him after my uncle while we actually live by him, but in my heart I yearn for a baby girl. I bought my first baby item on Saturday night after going to the broadcast with Mary. It's a little onsie and it was on clearance for $1.50. How could I resist?? It has lacey capped sleeves (that I'm sure we'll put on over something long-sleeved) and patchworkiness on the front with a flower and the word "Sweet". Usually I'm not a fan of words on baby clothes - I like them simple and non-flippant. But this was too darling to leave in the store. I almost cried when I picked it up, in my irrational state, because it was so tiny...I couldn't wait to hold my baby. I tell Eldon all the time, "I just want to HOLD it! I'll put it back, I just want to hold it for five minutes!!" And no matter how many times he laughs and tells me it doesn't work that way, or how much I already know that, the yearning is there. And I'm grateful for it. I've been waiting to be a mommy for a long time. Not as long as some women have to wait, so don't think I'm complaining. I'm very grateful we were able to get pregnant after only 4 months of trying. But 25 years is still a lot of minutes of wishing and hoping, no matter how many more years anyone else has waited.

If it comes out cranky and temperamental I'm blaming Eldon ... I was a perfect baby. :) Eldon was the one who waged war with his siblings, so I just tell him to keep those genes to himself!

Maybe Very Happy by Jack Gilbert

After she died he was seized
by a great curiosity about what
it was like for her. Not that he
doubted how much she loved him.
But he knew there must have been
some things she had not liked.
So he went to her closest friend
and asked what she complained of.
"It's all right," he had to keep
saying, "I really won't mind."
Until the friend finally gave in.
"She said sometimes you made a noise
drinking your tea if it was very hot."

Library Morning

After another exhausting and sweat-inducing bike ride to campus, Eldon and I are sitting in the library reading and studying. I'm looking at him right now. He's so darling. This is the THIRD time I have ridden my bike to campus and I am exceedingly proud. Can you believe I did it again after that first time? Eldon rides behind me (in case I fall off and die, I suppose) and calls out encouragement the whole time, which actually makes me laugh and puts me at greater risk of falling off to my death...or at least deformity. "You're doing great, Hon!" He calls out. "You're so cute when you're on your bike!" "I'm so proud of you!"

I just made my own self laugh out loud in the library because the bike ride is seriously - we timed it - 7 minutes in duration and 10 blocks in distance. It shouldn't be hard for me. But it is. :)

I looked over at Eldon to see if he noticed my silly little outburst of giggling and he is still sitting there, two fingers against his jaw, staring at the computer screen preparing for his physiology test this afternoon. He's such a diligent student. I really love him for that. Sometimes I think I show my love for him by cleaning his house and cooking his meals and he shows his love for me by putting in the study time it takes to get such good grades. My grades have nothing to do with how I feel about him. :) I'd rather bake cookies than read yet another commentary on the romantic period.

Eldon just said to me, "Oh, right, a centimeter..." I turned and there he was, reading our blog. "More like half a glass!!" I guess he doesn't agree with my representation of my milk consumption. He should probably participate in this blogging activity more often. :)

Now we're laughing ... Apparently he's not a big fan of having a picture of penguins on our blog either. :) Maybe I should put a light-saber on there and see if he ever reads the blog again and notices! Stay tuned...

Random Moments

Eldon and I are doing great. We've had a few random little moments I thought I'd document here. Some we still laugh about.

• I made whole wheat cookies the other day because it was the only kind of flour I could find. (Turns out Eldon had put the extra bag of white flour on the top shelf where his wife cannot see anything and I didn't think to look up there. :)) They weren't the best, the consistency left much to be desired, but the flavor was still pretty good. And dipped in milk they were yummy. So, I packed a couple in Eldon's lunch the other day before I left for work. When he went into the kitchen and found his lunch he laughed out loud, thinking that I was JOKING, and threw all the cookies away. All of them. The whole batch. :) Oh, how I laughed! I guess I didn't have to ask what he thought about them. :)
• I just got off the phone with a client who sounded exactly like a grown-up Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Oh my goodness, it was delightful! Poor man. I can't possibly be the only person in the world to have made that observation.
• Eldon and I walked out of the house the other day and Eldon grabbed our garbage bag and then our neighbor's garbage bag on our way to the car. "Oh, Honey," I cooed. "That was so nice of you." Eldon gave me a funny look before he realized what I was praising him for. He told me, "Oh, I've been taking their trash out since we moved here." He hadn't even thought twice about it -- it was just a habit! I'd had no idea.
• We got a flat tire last night and Bryce (my brother) came to help us change the tire (we didn't have a jack). As Eldon was lowering the jack after the spare was in place I pointed to something on the tire with my toe. "WATCH YOUR FEET!!!!" Eldon cried out. Whoa, I was still like a yard away from the car! So Bryce and I would randomly yell out "Watch your feet!!" for the duration of the night. It was hysterical. Eldon would just laugh, gallantly accepting the fact that he'd totally over-reacted to my nearness to the oh-so-dangerous car lowering moment. :) He's so darling. And Bryce is so wonderful for coming to help us. GOSH I love that we live so close to him and Haley! It's just so fun!! If Kev and Shauna are both here in the fall I just don't know how we'll ever get anything productive done. :) It's going to be so fun!
• I love milk. So much. I seriously drink a gallon a week, and it's only that little because I'm trying to be conservative with the milk budget. Eldon teases me because I'll often leave like a centimeter left in my cup and leave it on the counter. It drives him nuts. He actually brought the cup to me while I read on the couch the other night and made me drink it. :) I'd left it there like 10 minutes before. He's so funny.
• I made ROCKIN' clam chowder from scratch the other night. Oh, Eldon was so grateful he married me. :) It's my mom's recipe and it's really easy, so it's not like I'm a culinary artist. But it was very good and Eldon was very happy. Yay for easy recipes!!
• We were making enchiladas another night and I was trying to fix the tin foil on the top and I bumped my arm on the ELEMENT of the oven. Ouch! It still looks terrible 5 days later, but I hope it won't scar too badly. It's pretty ugly.

Well, I think that's all for this installment. Hope you're having a great day!!

Oh no you DI'INT!

So, I just called my doctor to make sure that things were all set for my ultrasound on the 29th, etc etc. I've been practically counting down the days minute by minute because I just can't wait to find out if we're having a girl or a boy. They didn't even HAVE me scheduled for an ultrasound! Not only that, but she was asking me questions about how far along I am and what the doctor said after my last appointment. First of all, she was looking at my chart, so she should know how far along I am. And secondly the doctor hadn't said ANYTHING to me because he was in such a rush (after the 3 minutes he spent in my room) to get to the next appointment. "Oh," she said. "That's probably why we didn't realize we'd needed to schedule that ultrasound with you." Oh, okay, that totally makes sense. They seriously don't even know or care about me. Oh, except that they refer to me as the one who lost the twin. Thanks for that. THEN I asked, well, can I schedule that ultrasound because I'm really anxious to know the gender of my child. Oh, sure, but the guy who does the gender ultrasounds is only available every other Thursday from 11:00am to 1:00pm. He's booked until his vacation in two weeks, but I can have any time I want on the 23rd of OCT-stinking-TOBER within that large and spacious two-hour-window during which I have two classes. Thanks.

Question: What if I hadn't called in this afternoon? Were they EVER going to look at my chart and tell me about the ultrasound??? I had to find out from pregnancy books and friends that I even COULD find out the gender at 20 weeks! Forget it. Of course I burst into irrational tears as soon as I hung up. I was so mad!!! I got on my phone, called my sister-in-law, asked her for other doctors, hung up, called another doctor, and switched over. I will NOT tolerate being treated with such blatant indifference. So, I'm going to march my little tummy into that office on Thursday morning, retrieve my chart, and march right out. Over-reaction? Possibly . . . Probably. I realize this whole baby thing happens a lot around here, but don't brush it off like it's no big deal. It's EVERYTHING to Eldon and me. So don't mess with this little soon-to-be mother!

Happiness!!!

Eldon Eldon Eldon ...

Jane Bennett in Pride and Prejudice asks, "Can you die of happiness?" I pose the same question. Sometimes I can't even take the joy. I'm like the Grinch and I need a bigger and bigger heart to hold all the love and happiness in my heart. Or Samuel. That's a better example. Isn't he the one who got a "new heart". I think so. Anyway...

I always thought I'd want to get away from my spouse sometimes. In my single days and all my independence I never imagined I'd WANT to be with someone all the time. I hated that part of my mission -- When I got home I wanted a few hugs and tearful reunions and then I switched into "Leave-Me-Alone,-World" mode. I just wanted to eat, breathe, read, and just be; BY MYSELF if I wanted. But now I'm like the clock-watching crazy woman waiting to see the silhouette of her beloved through the blinds, ready to spring up and fling the door open with flurried excitement. Who knew I'd become a window stalker? :) I'm quite surprised.

I cleaned the whole house with my birthday gifts yesterday and it smelled like lemon and disinfectant. Wonderful. Celestial Kingdom-esque. And when I got home (after Eldon because I had an errand to run) he'd made chicken enchiladas and washed all the dishes. Bless him all his life. Actually, that's what I try to do. I was just so grateful. We've entered a really fun serve serve serve stage in our marriage, and it's the best thing ever. Not that we weren't serving each other before, but somehow it almost has a game-playing feel to it now, and we just laugh and play and talk for hours at night. I wish we saw each other more, but the hours after 7:30 at night when we DO get to chat and catch up on the day are delightful.

Sharon, if you're reading this, I ADORE you for raising such a wonderul, wonderful man. I'll be eternally grateful!

That's all for now. We get to find out Baby's gender on the 30th, so we're really excited about that. I can't wait to get cute little onsies and things. I was walking in Walmart last night (my errand was finding more plastic shelves and another bucket for our wheat) and they had so many darling little newborn clothes. I almost got teary I was so excited to be a mommy. I let myself finger the little booties and jackets before forcing myself to move on with my quest. I love the cream and brown with pastel look ... My gosh. Oh, I also made TONS of progress on the baby blanket I've been planning on making. I've never made a patchwork quilt before, and I didn't ask anyone's help, and you can definitely find evidence of those two facts displayed blatantly in the uneven bagginess of my attempt. But I just have to finish three sides of edging and I'm done! It's cream, brown and light green. Very very cute. More girly than boy-y, but we both tend to think we're having a girl. Our present name favorite is Arianna. We'd call her Ari. I still LOVE Evelyn, but Eldon thinks it's an old-pioneer-woman-type name. If we have a boy he'll be Justin Ray. We'll see! Oh, I'm just in love with my life!!

P.S. Watching our baby flounce around like that all flopsy-like seriously makes me walk more cautiously...like I'm in my own special mommy-marching-band and I have to roll my feet so I just glide around. No respecter of gravity. No jingling. No umbilical-chord swooshing like it's the jump rope of doom. Just me, carefully and conspicuously making my way around my world.

I'm a total freak.

Okay, okay...

...I'll keep the dumb journals. :) It's a good thing I got so much feedback on that because I was seriously going to throw them away. There are five pages in a row, I kid you not, back in 2005 (right before my mission) that have different boy names all written in block scrapbookish lettering detailing the dates we'd been on that night. What a silly, embarrassing girl I was. I can't imagine my posterity benefiting from that, but so be it. It will be a stark contrast to the dignified, poised woman they know me to be in later years. :)

Eldon and I rode our bikes to campus together this morning. What an awful thing that was. I was dying because my tires were a little flat and it was a slight incline all the way there (only like 10 blocks, but still ... they were big ones). I'm so going to be sore tomorrow. Eldon wasn't winded at all, of course, but he wasn't carrying our baby either. The extra 8 ounces (or whatever s/he weighs) is rough. :) Plus it really hurt my hind quarters. I think I need some kind of fluffy cushion on there if this is going to be a regular activity. And if I could do away with the backpack of death that would be great, but I don't see a way around that. Anyway, that was the bike experience of the morning (probably of the week ... month ... pregnancy).

On a different note, my New Testament class is incredible. Really. I took it from Todd Parker and he is a TOUGH guy. He has such high expectations of us, I love it. Bring it on! I hate it when students complain when their religion professors require a lot from them ... Like we should all just be able to bear our testimonies and get As. That really bugs me. It looks like I'll have to do some major work to get an A in this class. And I'm going to learn all kinds of things, too, which I appreciate. The packet is incredible. I think we're going to have to start memorizing the Bible Dictionary. :)

What else can I possibly relate to you? My birthday was wonderful, even though I turned 25. Eldon is the best husband there ever was. He made me feel like a queen all day. We went to Bryce and Haley's for dinner too, which was YUMMY. Bryce's chicken was great and Haley made rockin' garlic potatoes. I was so happy. :) Then Camilla brought me daisies yesterday at work for my birthday and that was great. I'm looking a them right now. They really are the "friendliest flower" (Meg Ryan, You've Got Mail) in the land. I just love them. Just the white ones, though, none of that crazy colorful stuff. It covers up the friendly for some reason. :)

That's all for now. Life is great, goals are fun, and I'm getting better at putting the most important things (mainly Eldon at the moment) first in my life. I don't let myself get so stressed with class or work that I can't be a wife. The kind that cooks dinner and massages backs. :) Last night, for example, Eldon came home from school to a table full of fresh taco makings and was the happiest man in Provo for the next three hours. It's so fun to cook for a man who finds such joy in eating good, wife-made food. I love it. And I love him. He really loves me too, bless his heart, and I love how obvious he is about it. I don't think I could do without that. We're learning to be spouses and it's such a fun journey. It's my favorite thing so far.

And we're having a baby! Life is so good!!!!

The eve of my 25th birthday...

This is the strangest birthday yet. 25. A quarter of a century. It just seems so old to me ... I don't like it. Eldon has been teasing me, as well he should because it's funny, that he'll NEVER be as old as I am. :) We had a conversation on 9/11 about where we were when that happened seven years ago and we realized that I was a freshman in college and he was a sophomore in high school. :) Yikes. So anyway, I'm old. End of paragraph.

I do, however, have several goals I'm going to pursue diligently with this landmark. I'm going to:

• Keep a consistent journal (I even want to make a no-stupid-stuff clause and destroy my previous attempts at journal writing).
• Always have a current, specific scripture study program.
• Cook dinner every night. :)
• Exercise daily.
  
• Write more fiction. I really have to make time for that...I love it too much to let it always take the back burner. Someday I might be GOOD if I actually practice.
• Be more frugal. I have to say here, though, that I have made GIANT strides in this department in the last 8 months. Eldon is quite pleased with me.
  
• Let me make a little interjection here (since it's my blog): I have learned, from my wonderful husband, that quiet encouragement and patience is often the very best way to help people change for the better. Eldon never lectures me, and never even participates or chimes in when I lecture myself! He just hugs me, encourages and acknowledges my progress, and lets me be. How grateful I've been, over and over, for his goodness and longsuffering. It's a very Christlike attribute, and I see now why the Lord would want us to be this way. It's easier for me to picture a God who would treat me this way when I have a husband who treats me this way. I love Eldon for that.
• Make a point to multi-task less and let myself just think. I always try to do so many things at one time that I'm afraid I crowd out the joy I could feel if I let myself keep a less frantic pace. (I say as I make new goals. :) But I'm not going to be too hard on myself about it. The journal doesn't have to be daily, and the scripture marking doesn't have to be outlandish - which Eldon has already made me promise I won't do again. :) He knows me well.)
• Plan out every day so my activities are on purpose. There's a reason we do that on our missions...

Anyway, life is wonderful, even with the 25th birthday on the horizon. Eldon asked me what I wanted and I told him I wanted cleaning supplies. Really. :) So Thursday night we went to Walmart and he outfitted me with Mr. Clean, bleach, windex, dryer sheets, Joy, and every other needful and clean-smelling product. :) I'm so excited. I haven't had time to use them yet (full time work and school is a little rough) but the time is coming. And Camilla just told me last night that she'd wanted to get me cleaning supplies for my birthday as a joke. She's the same kind of OCD cleansing fanatic that I am. We're two peas in the same, very odd, pod. :)

Eldon and I also decided that we're going to find out the gender of our baby. We'll know on September 30th. Wow...We can't wait!! He wants a girl, I want a boy, so we'll see what happens. Eldon and I have a few favorites we're playing with. We have a boy name picked out already, but we're still undecided on the girl one. Eldon loves the name Jezebel, and I think it's pretty too but we both know it's impossible. Isabel should be off limits for the same reason, but I like it too much to care that she was Corianton's harlot. Let us know if you have great baby names you can't use for yourselves! :)

Second Trimester Joy

There once was a girl named Shelli
With a 4-inch baby in her belly.
Her husband was funny,
She called him Honey,
And they lived in a house rather smelly.

Then an epiphany came one day,
That she and her prince could move away!
The boxes were packed,
Like they were being attacked,
And without extra time to play.

They had friends in the land,
Who landed a hand,
And things went quite perfectly.

Shelli was grateful,
The apartment was tasteful,
And she clapped her hands with glee.

She's been organizing since that night,
That they came home to such a sight,
And the kitchen is done,
With hot water that runs,
And it glows with bleach and sunlight.

You should all see the house right now,
It looks like something went "KAPOW!"
But she gets off at one,
And can get more work done,
And her husband will get home and say, "Wow!"

Shelli's heart is not sad,
For which Eldon is glad,
They feel peace for the first time in months.

But between you and me,
The real reason might be,
Shelli hasn't felt sick even once! :)