Holding Forks and Stealing Peppers

Oh, Reader, I love you, but there is no way I can do justice to this story for you. You would have to know so many things about us to fully appreciate this moment of ours ... But I cannot resist trying to help you see it. Some things to keep in mind while reading:

1. Have you seen Disney's Beauty and the Beast? You know the breakfast scene where Belle tries to teach the Beast how to hold a spoon and eat like a human being? That's kind of my life. I love Eldon, but he holds his silverware like a Neanderthal. If you hold out your right hand and do a thumbs up sign, then put your thumb down, turn your hand 90 degrees to the left and shove a fork in there, that's how he holds it. I'm serious. 
2. Refer to #1. :)
3. I'm not even exaggerating. 
4. Are you remembering #1? Okay.

So last night we were eating dinner (probably pasta) and we had this conversation:

Eldon: I've told her 20 million times how to hold a fork and she always does it wrong.

Shelli: looks at Chiara, who is holding her fork like Mommy (and the rest of the civilized world), and who is two years old ... then looks back at Eldon, who is holding his fork like a shovel

Eldon: looks at Chiara, then looks at how Shelli is holding her fork, then looks at his own hand holding a fork

(little patch of silence)

Eldon: Oh.

Shelli (and eventually Eldon): hysterical laughter

***

The other night I was cooking (does anyone else feel like they live in their kitchens, or is that just me?) and I turned to chop up my second bell pepper and it wasn't on the counter. 

I was sure I'd taken two out. I thought to myself. Oh well. So I grabbed another from the fridge and started chopping. 

After a few minutes I thought, Where's my child? I don't hear her.

Oh, don't worry. I found her. With my bell pepper. Tucked in a corner of her room eating my bell pepper like an apple. :) Sneaky thing, I didn't even hear her come into the kitchen!

Then, when I found her, she jumped up, promptly shoved the pepper down her shirt and ran away from me, giggling to herself about how clever she is. My goodness, this child. Can you see the huge bites she took out of that pepper? At least she likes vegetables, right? :) I hear strangers laughing at us every time we go to WinCo for produce. Here I am, calmly selecting my apples and bananas, and my child is screeching out:

"Nana!! Peppuh! Appoh! Nummy!! Bite! Bite! Nana! Owenge! Right now, Mamma!"

She's never as animated as she is in the produce department. :) My parents actually got her a picnic basket with plastic fruits and vegetables in it for her birthday. This is how we play with it:

Chiara: holds up an onion "Wuts da?" (what's that)

Shelli: "Onion!"

Chiara: "Uh huh!!" (as in, right answer, Mom) puts down onion, holds up celery "Wuts Da?"

Shelli: "Celery!"

Chiara: "Uh huh!" puts down celery, holds up carrot "Wuts da?"

Shelli: "Carrot!"

Chiara: "Uh huh!" ...

On and on and on. :) It makes me laugh every time because she does this with everything, like she's testing me to see how much I really know. She points to body parts, clothing, kitchen utensils ... anything she can see and touch and asks me what it is. Then when I tell her, she smiles and says, "Uh huh!" like I'm just the smartest Mamma there ever was. :) Yay for me.

(here she is with her produce basket ... you can see the lettuce and the cucumbers under her fingers ... also notice the nativity set in a jar with Baby Jesus being crushed by a donkey)