in your diaper? really?

So, the lamb has developed a strange, strange habit. Less of a habit really, and more a fascination: of putting things down her footie pajamas.

I have no idea where this came from. It started with little things, like socks and pacifiers. Then it got more serious with toys and books. Once, a half-eaten apple, which I looked for forEVER and found behind her knee in the leg of her footie pajamas. I'd even LOOKED in her jammies for it, but didn't suspect it had fallen way down and bounced behind her. Silly me.

Today, though, I have to say was the ultimate winner. Eldon came into the kitchen where I was washing dishes (which is all I ever do, it feels like) and handed me my favorite necklace.

"Here," he said. "This was in her diaper."

So like any good mother would do (dripping sarcasm) I marched into the bathroom where she was having her bath and waved it in her face.

"Honey, this is no no! We do not touch Mommy's precious things!"

Blink. Blink.

She knew I was ticked, but wasn't quiiiiite sure why. I felt like she was thinking, "Uh, Mom? I wasn't even touching that." Yes you were! An hour ago when you friggin' stuffed it down your shirt!

But how do you explain such things to a 22-month old? You can't. So I kissed her and told her I loved her - probably giving her whiplash from mixed messages - and held up the necklace on my way out the door. "We just don't touch Mommy's things, okay? Thank you!"

I love her. But man, I could do without the down-the-shirt fetish.

P.S. I can also - while I'm in La La Land - do without the Elmo fetish. He asks stupid questions, refers to himself in third person, and his voice makes me want to rip my eardrums out.